Expressing the Feeling

I feel sad and like I’ve gone backwards. I know that is not possible. But it is another layer of the same vibration that has come about so it ‘feels’ like one is going backwards. Perhaps I should recall the fact that the worse something is that you go through, the more wonderful the other side will be. I said that last night actually. I think it was last night. My lack of sleep has kind of blended the days together as of late.

Why do I want what I know is bad? And if I know it’s bad, why do I want it? Why does that knowing not override the feeling… And I know the answer to that too – because of the hidden positive intention (self preservation…to be discussed at another time).

“But it was the perfect disease we had…
We all need someone to drive us mad.” (apparently).

I don’t know how many days it’s been. I don’t know the whys or the hows. But I do – I know all the answers. But I obviously…obviously I don’t.

The facts remain yet the feelings stain.
I wish they’d fade.
But these jeans are holding on tight
To old plans we laid.

I know if we were to rewind it would all go the same
But I keep playing it back
I hope someday I’ll forget your name
But I wouldn’t want that.