When I get really sad:
I go silent and don’t want to talk.
I move very slowly.
Lie in bed.
Stare blankly at nothing.
Sometimes don’t eat for awhile (appetite disappears).
Sigh a lot.
If I do this in front of people, they make every effort to try to cheer me up…and I know they think it’s because they want to relieve me of this pain, but it’s not really. It’s because people are uncomfortable with sadness.
We are taught from a very young age to try as hard as we can to stop crying by virtue of comments offered by others such as, ‘cheer up’, ‘it’s not that bad’, ‘stop crying!’ – which usually involves the other person/s attempting to distract us with something we would normally find pleasurable. This is an attempt at replacing the emotive experience of feeling sadness to one of feeling happiness.
But doing this does not really make the emotion of sadness disappear, but rather, it is simply pushed to the side and replaced. It also invalidates our emotions. If we surrender to the suggested change of mood to happiness, we are saying to ourselves, ‘This emotion is not okay. I should not feel this way. I do not have the right to feel this way.’ If this is because we are around others who are trying to make us stop being sad, we are also allowing others to have more of a say in how we should feel than ourselves. That is not kind.
When we are sad, what we need is the kind of kindness that offers: understanding, support and most of all, ‘the okay,’ to just simply feel how we feel, and be how we are in those moments.
When the joyful moments are gone, the sadness will return either straight away, soon after, or years later as an over reaction to an experience that triggers that same emotion to stir.
Thus, it is best to dive into the sadness now. Feel it deeply, silently, slowly, whatever one needs to do, regardless of the discomfort it may prompt others to experience. If we feel our negative emotions, we won’t suppress them and so won’t have those over reactions. We are even potentially warding off disease or illness.
This is because any sort of suppression or resistance creates a blockage to life-force energy. This creates the lowering of the immune system, which makes one more susceptible to disease. Additionally, the effect of the law of attraction means that because that vibration (the emotion) is still there, experiences that reflect it’s presence I.e. that trigger that same emotion/highlight the energetic blockage, will start to/continue to occur.
So, I am sad and I am going to go lie in bed until further notice.
I am going to cancel my list of tasks until further notice.