“Yesterday I went to the beach to experience the cool energy, the water (the sight, not the touch. Oh, the cold chills of salt ice, of Winter ocean… I miss Summer), the Earth who expresses herself as sand there, the expansive sky that stretches like a never ending canvas above my head, the stillness of the surrounding plant life and the air that wafts over me and into my lungs…”
“I moved to the heart chakra. I felt a curious emotional and ‘etheric sense’ of pain there. I realised I was facing more remnants of the heart chakra injury I have for so long endured that stems from repetitive emotional injury over the course of my life (I generally struggle with with an inability to experience or at least believe in emotional safety in this life. I feel emotionally safe about 65% of the time I think. This is slowly changing though)…” [click to read more]
“My cat, Panda, walks around meowing at seemingly nothing a lot. He also runs around crazily at random moments for no apparent reason. This behaviour has sometimes driven me insane…
As an animal communicator, I can tell you there is always…” [read more]
“The creator being is a point of consciousness in a sea of many perspectives.
The creator being is like a telescope that has stretched farther than all other points of consciousness. The creator being is an investigator.
The creator being learns on behalf of Source, the ever expanding, pervading totality of all points of consciousness as one.
When the creator being comes down into the physical dimension there tends to be a lot of suffering. There is a fracturing, a splintering of consciousness that occurs over and over here in this realm.
As children we suffer deeply when we are taught to cut off pieces of ourselves in order to fit into society, to be labelled as normal, productive and conducive to this human society. But this is not humane. Because this was…” [click to read more]
“I did a healing of the emotional body/integration process a couple of hours ago. I have been sitting in reflection for awhile. I am feeling very energetically, ‘wiped’. I am sure I will sleep solidly this evening…
I started by purposely sinking into the emotion I had been feeling this afternoon. It was a combination of worry, anxiety and self-doubt. I sat with this feeling. I enhanced it. I said to this part of my being, “I am completely here with you now.” I felt it…”
“…I waited but nothing more came from that after a minute or so. So, then I asked myself, “When was the first time I experienced this exact feeling?” as directed in Teal’s process…
All of a sudden I was taken back to the scene of my birth. I was in the delivery room. I had just come out of the
caesarean birth. My point of perspective was…” [click to read more]
Featured Image: Hope by Teal Swan
“The reason you incarnated here was to be human on every level. Suffering is different to pain. Pain is a pure messenger that transforms. Suffering is the result of not allowing pain, of resisting it.
It is time to admit to why we are here.
We are here to be ourselves on every aspect, every level. We are here to feel ourselves. You cannot exist peacefully in…” [click to read more]
“I integrated an inner child aspect today who felt ‘powerless to the control of others’. She sat in front of me at 8 years old. We held hands as I listened to her. I told her how sorry I am she felt this way. I stroked her hair. We put our hand on one another’s heart to reconnect. I remembered that I am her and she is me. After much emotion, I said, ‘it is time’ and she re-joined my present consciousness. The integration occurred…” [click to read more]
Today I am more myself than I have ever been.
I know I have gone and on and on about rebirth. I have been in the labour period of it for so long. I think today I did it. I am finally reborn.
This does not make much sense to anyone but me. I am too tired to type it all out. But it is a day of celebration nonetheless.
As I woke up from a nap this evening, I awoke with the knowing that I was just having a conversation with a great being of light. I feel it was like an archangel but not exactly, it was a very similar type of being.
I remember the vision of the being as literally just a big (like REALLY big) glowing light.
It (it being genderless) was saying to me, “You must go inwards now as humanity goes inwards. All things have come full circle, turning back towards Source.”
I have been constantly getting the message in the last little while that I ‘must go within’. I have been wondering why. I guess I got my answer.
Also, as I was falling asleep I became startled within myself twice by what can only be described as internal lights. It was like there were 2 big flashes of light behind my eyes.
This is the shift that has been taking place. All that ‘2012! End of the world! Ascension! Mayan Calendar omg!’ stuff? That was about the collective energy or consciousness of the human race and it’s direction.
Humans had fallen so far away from Source, so deep into spiritual amnesia that we had finally hit the finish line, the point where the only place to go was to return back the way we came. December 21st, 2012 was when this ‘officially’ happened. It is an ongoing transformation. All that could have been learnt through distancing ourselves from Source has been learnt. That mode of learning has come to a close. Now is the return.
2015 is about transformation…but not even that, because we have been here before… it is a rememberance. Yet also a rebirth. Because we are returning back to spiritual wisdom – somewhere we have been – yet, we are returning with the vast amount of knowledge and wisdom we learnt through this expansive mode of learning, that of the illusion of separation…. So in this way, we could say it is a rebirth.
Today I experience a second rebirth. A rebirth of the alignment between me and my higher self and my origin self.
I see the old parts of me wash away as though they are an ancient civilisation. That is what they have been likened to. I keep waking up with and just generally feeling energy running through my palms. I am realigning.
The part of me that did not know who she was, who lived in fear of her own self and emotion… she has been laid to rest. The tethers that bind are no more. This I know, today.
This process of realignment with the higher consciousness is one of such intangibility and of an undefinable nature. I want to write about it yet when I go to find the words it is as though they are wisps of air… no words for no definitions do fit this.
I am so much more me today than I ever have been before. It is as if I am more whole. My words have a congruency to them they did not before. My soul, my air, my breath has a wholeness, a depth to it that I did not have before. And as stated, I do see this image in my mind once again… of the being that is or was me…now an ancient site of ruins, it can be learned from but not lived in.
I do not think it coincidence that this occurs on the Winter solstice. The day where the sun sleeps her longest night only to renew herself for the foreseeable future. She, like me, is transforming into a new self, her whole self… she is realigning and returning to the days spent as MORE herself. MORE Sun. I am grateful for her arms of light that I saw today. It has been a dreary week. But as I have felt myself take new breaths today, so has she, it seems. I do not think this alignment coincidence. We, the beings upon the Earth, We the beings within this Galaxy, We share the same cycle. We are cyclic in our states of renewal, rebirth, home and travel.
Today I decided to sit outside in the flickering rays of sunlight and channel something from Asteria (my higher self/Pleiadian self) to do with the Winter Solstice:
“It is of no coincidence that I am reborn again today. Many times I had rebirth. Many times I have shed.
Today is a day for the sun to shine as she does, if only for a short while.
When she rests she will wake renewed and replenished tomorrow, as do you.
She will be ready to start anew, as will you, and so you shall. It is not long for the Winter to pass new, not long at all.
As you go about your day and return to the bounty that Winter’s harvest has brought you, be reminded of all that you have and give thanks. It has been in chaos that we have found stillness and still the sun shines to you, just for you.
The Earth requests nothing but your respect for her bounty and your harvests this Winter. They are hers to share and yours to keep. Cherish them.
Become One (with her, the Earth, and also yourself) and you will always be full.”
I have been in a kind of hibernation this week.
This weather makes me so cold and unable to do anything.
I have tried, every Winter, to change my attitude about the colder weather so I can experience a sense of normalcy when it comes round… But try as I might, this does not seem to have been successful. And that’s probably because I was doing it out of resistance. I was trying to change how I feel because part of me judges that I ‘should’ not be affected by something so ‘trivial’ as the weather. This is where positive focus does not work… because your positive focus is a vibrational ‘lie’. Example lies I tried haha:
“I am still able to function amidst this cold air.”
“I am in control of my energy levels, not the weather. I should be fine with this. I am fine with this.”
It doesn’t work.
Even more ‘positive’ ones like really noticing what I do enjoy in the day despite the cold weather…and also trying to note things I do like that are present because of the cold weather… E.g. :
“I like when I can be wrapped up in a million blankets in my room with the heater on with my cats, it’s cozy and I like that feeling.”
“I like using my heat blanket. I like the feeling of warmth on my feet under the covers.”
“I like drinking hot chocolate within cold-feeling air.”
Whilst these are true, their drive is false. The drive to notice was one done so out of resistance to the present, to the weather.
So, here I sit and I admit: I HATE THE COLD WEATHER. I CANNOT FUNCTION IN THIS WEATHER.
(Warning: Resistance-free rant about my true feelings about the cold weather coming up…)
I hate the cold air on my face, on my ears and nose. I hate that I can get so tucked into the blanket but no matter what I do my face will always have to bare the cold (unless I wear a balaclava? haha).
I hate that I have to wear 2 or 3 layers of clothing instead of 1. I hate that I have to wear jumpers, which I find fashionably limiting. I hate that I have to have the heater on and then the electricity bill increases dramatically. I hate that I look out the window and sky is just grey and so so unappealing. I hate being in the rain – I hate getting wet. I go outside for like 5 seconds in Autumn/Winter I.e. Rain and then my clothes are slightly damp for the next hour or so. If I want to avoid this I have to put my jacket and boots on, or have an umbrella. I do not like these additions. I hate when the sky is blue and sunny but you go outside and it’s all a big lie because it’s still like -1000 degrees! I hate that my hands always feel cold and kind of stiff… which makes me type slower and also it hurts more if I accidentally bang them against the door or something.
LIKE, LET’S BE REAL: WINTER! YOU SUCK!
SOOOOOOOOOO… Moving on. Sort of.
This week I have spent half of my time being annoyed at my inability to function and trying to break out of this weird forced cocoon way of living, to no avail…and half my time just giving up on the resistance and simply being completely non functional. I’ve basically been living in my bedroom, in my bed, with the door closed, with the heater and the electric blanket on. I have come out to the lounge room etc and attempted to be productive and function properly multiple times but always inevitably returned to the warm nest of blankets and sleep.
The majority of it is to do with the cold. Some of it is to do with me coming off of some medication I was on. Some of it is to do with the current energetic shifts occurring within the collective/Earth at the moment.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (type 2) and Generalised Anxiety Disorder when I was approximately 19 years old. I had a terrible time emotionally growing up and as a young adult until I finally ‘hit bottom’ and thus went to the doctor, got diagnosed and went on medication. My life experience greatly improved after that.
Being on medication allowed me to have the calm of mind needed to rediscover myself and know who I really am minus heavy and often painful emotional swings. The excavation towards the buried true self began.
Here we have come to the finality of that excavation. Here I have found myself standing at a precipice of who I thought I was and who I really am. Here I touch who I have always been but never knew. And so, in the last week, I have finally stopped all medications I was on for Bipolar Disorder/GAD.
One by-product of doing this is the effects of medication withdrawal. This has meant that regardless of the weather, I would still have been experiencing a lot of what I have experienced this week… dizziness, disassociation, anxiety and heightened sensory arousal i.e. feeling hyper aware of everything in my environment.
It has been approximately 4 days since I stopped my medication and today is the first day I feel I am close to ‘normal’ – as normal as I can be with this weather, that is.
There is a kind of ‘coming out’ feeling with this. I am slightly expectant of ridicule and excessive worry from people because everyone has heard that ‘bipolar patients are known for not taking their medication’… and, like people expect you to have an ‘episode’ or go off the deep end because Bipolar is thought of as an ‘incurable’ ‘disorder’.
Despite that, there is a feeling of intense empowerment I feel about this. I feel SO good about it and CONFIDENT in my ability to manage my moods. And you know how? Through the power of monitoring my thoughts and focus and by staying aligned with who I really am. And through self love and self care, which I am learning how to do, day by day.
What I have learnt through intuitive channeling and of course my own experience is that: people who receive a diagnosis of bipolar disorder are usually those who have never felt permission to be themselves. It was never okay to be sensitive and so they felt resistant to this aspect of themselves. This resistance enhanced that sensitivity (what you resists persists! I.e. You manifest more of whatever you are focusing on, this is the law of this mirror universe) until a full on chemical imbalance is created, the ‘chemical/emotional ceiling’ is broken, disappears.
Those with Bipolar disorder did come into this world more sensitive than others yes, but it was never supposed to get so bad that we would declare it a disorder, that it would become life threatening. As I heard the spiritual teacher, Teal Swan, say once, these people are ‘a sensitive compass’. The emotional (/chemical) reaction to your thoughts is much stronger than ‘regular’ people, this means you can get on a negative OR positive spiral much more easily and quickly than others. This means your thoughts are POWERFUL. This means monitoring one’s thoughts and consciously choosing those that feel good is very important.
This also means that you are an amazing creator. Every thought you think has a strong emotional response behind it thus it has a very strong, magnetic point of attraction to it. People with bipolar disorder are creators to it’s fullest extent. Additionally, our desires give birth to very strong pulls on the collective as we weave what we wish to manifest towards us, so too does that draw affect the collective. Our influence is vast.
Anyway, the point is that it is okay to be a sensitive compass. And I now know how to steer.