personal evolution

hope frequency art

Healing The Emotional Body – Umbilical Trauma

http://rebeccaelizabethanne.com/healing-the-umbilical-trauma/

“I did a healing of the emotional body/integration process a couple of hours ago. I have been sitting in reflection for awhile. I am feeling very energetically, ‘wiped’. I am sure I will sleep solidly this evening…
I started by purposely sinking into the emotion I had been feeling this afternoon. It was a combination of worry, anxiety and self-doubt. I sat with this feeling. I enhanced it. I said to this part of my being, “I am completely here with you now.” I felt it…”

“…I waited but nothing more came from that after a minute or so. So, then I asked myself, “When was the first time I experienced this exact feeling?” as directed in Teal’s process…

All of a sudden I was taken back to the scene of my birth. I was in the delivery room. I had just come out of the
caesarean birth. My point of perspective was…” [click to read more]

Featured Image: Hope by Teal Swan

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human chakras

Going Within: On Doubt

http://rebeccaelizabethanne.com/going-within-on-doubt/

“I integrated an inner child aspect today who felt ‘powerless to the control of others’. She sat in front of me at 8 years old. We held hands as I listened to her. I told her how sorry I am she felt this way. I stroked her hair. We put our hand on one another’s heart to reconnect. I remembered that I am her and she is me. After much emotion, I said, ‘it is time’ and she re-joined my present consciousness. The integration occurred…” [click to read more]

energy human field

Reborn

Today I am more myself than I have ever been.

I know I have gone and on and on about rebirth. I have been in the labour period of it for so long. I think today I did it. I am finally reborn.

This does not make much sense to anyone but me. I am too tired to type it all out. But it is a day of celebration nonetheless.

moon eye numb1

A Solstice of Self

Today I experience a second rebirth. A rebirth of the alignment between me and my higher self and my origin self.

I see the old parts of me wash away as though they are an ancient civilisation. That is what they have been likened to. I keep waking up with and just generally feeling energy running through my palms. I am realigning.

The part of me that did not know who she was, who lived in fear of her own self and emotion… she has been laid to rest. The tethers that bind are no more. This I know, today.

This process of realignment with the higher consciousness is one of such intangibility and of an undefinable nature. I want to write about it yet when I go to find the words it is as though they are wisps of air… no words for no definitions do fit this.

unicorn girl asleep
I am so much more me today than I ever have been before. It is as if I am more whole. My words have a congruency to them they did not before. My soul, my air, my breath has a wholeness, a depth to it that I did not have before. And as stated, I do see this image in my mind once again… of the being that is or was me…now an ancient site of ruins, it can be learned from but not lived in.

I do not think it coincidence that this occurs on the Winter solstice. The day where the sun sleeps her longest night only to renew herself for the foreseeable future. She, like me, is transforming into a new self, her whole self… she is realigning and returning to the days spent as MORE herself. MORE Sun. I am grateful for her arms of light that I saw today. It has been a dreary week. But as I have felt myself take new breaths today, so has she, it seems. I do not think this alignment coincidence. We, the beings upon the Earth, We the beings within this Galaxy, We share the same cycle. We are cyclic in our states of renewal, rebirth, home and travel.

Today I decided to sit outside in the flickering rays of sunlight and channel something from Asteria (my higher self/Pleiadian self) to do with the Winter Solstice:

“It is of no coincidence that I am reborn again today. Many times I had rebirth. Many times I have shed.

Today is a day for the sun to shine as she does, if only for a short while.
When she rests she will wake renewed and replenished tomorrow, as do you.
She will be ready to start anew, as will you, and so you shall. It is not long for the Winter to pass new, not long at all.
As you go about your day and return to the bounty that Winter’s harvest has brought you, be reminded of all that you have and give thanks. It has been in chaos that we have found stillness and still the sun shines to you, just for you.
The Earth requests nothing but your respect for her bounty and your harvests this Winter. They are hers to share and yours to keep. Cherish them.
Become One (with her, the Earth, and also yourself) and you will always be full.”

– Asteria

Teal Swan Frequency Painting

The Cold, Resistance, Hibernation and Bipolar Disorder

I have been in a kind of hibernation this week.

This weather makes me so cold and unable to do anything.
I have tried, every Winter, to change my attitude about the colder weather so I can experience a sense of normalcy when it comes round… But try as I might, this does not seem to have been successful. And that’s probably because I was doing it out of resistance. I was trying to change how I feel because part of me judges that I ‘should’ not be affected by something so ‘trivial’ as the weather. This is where positive focus does not work… because your positive focus is a vibrational ‘lie’. Example lies I tried haha:
“I am still able to function amidst this cold air.”
“I am in control of my energy levels, not the weather. I should be fine with this. I am fine with this.”

It doesn’t work.

Even more ‘positive’ ones like really noticing what I do enjoy in the day despite the cold weather…and also trying to note things I do like that are present because of the cold weather… E.g. :
“I like when I can be wrapped up in a million blankets in my room with the heater on with my cats, it’s cozy and I like that feeling.”
“I like using my heat blanket. I like the feeling of warmth on my feet under the covers.”
“I like drinking hot chocolate within cold-feeling air.”

Whilst these are true, their drive is false. The drive to notice was one done so out of resistance to the present, to the weather.

So, here I sit and I admit: I HATE THE COLD WEATHER. I CANNOT FUNCTION IN THIS WEATHER.
(Warning: Resistance-free rant about my true feelings about the cold weather coming up…)

I hate the cold air on my face, on my ears and nose. I hate that I can get so tucked into the blanket but no matter what I do my face will always have to bare the cold (unless I wear a balaclava? haha).
I hate that I have to wear 2 or 3 layers of clothing instead of 1. I hate that I have to wear jumpers, which I find fashionably limiting. I hate that I have to have the heater on and then the electricity bill increases dramatically. I hate that I look out the window and sky is just grey and so so unappealing. I hate being in the rain – I hate getting wet. I go outside for like 5 seconds in Autumn/Winter I.e. Rain and then my clothes are slightly damp for the next hour or so. If I want to avoid this I have to put my jacket and boots on, or have an umbrella. I do not like these additions. I hate when the sky is blue and sunny but you go outside and it’s all a big lie because it’s still like -1000 degrees! I hate that my hands always feel cold and kind of stiff… which makes me type slower and also it hurts more if I accidentally bang them against the door or something.
LIKE, LET’S BE REAL: WINTER! YOU SUCK!

SOOOOOOOOOO… Moving on. Sort of.

This week I have spent half of my time being annoyed at my inability to function and trying to break out of this weird forced cocoon way of living, to no avail…and half my time just giving up on the resistance and simply being completely non functional. I’ve basically been living in my bedroom, in my bed, with the door closed, with the heater and the electric blanket on. I have come out to the lounge room etc and attempted to be productive and function properly multiple times but always inevitably returned to the warm nest of blankets and sleep.

The majority of it is to do with the cold. Some of it is to do with me coming off of some medication I was on. Some of it is to do with the current energetic shifts occurring within the collective/Earth at the moment.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (type 2) and Generalised Anxiety Disorder when I was approximately 19 years old. I had a terrible time emotionally growing up and as a young adult until I finally ‘hit bottom’ and thus went to the doctor, got diagnosed and went on medication. My life experience greatly improved after that.

Being on medication allowed me to have the calm of mind needed to rediscover myself and know who I really am minus heavy and often painful emotional swings. The excavation towards the buried true self began.

Here we have come to the finality of that excavation. Here I have found myself standing at a precipice of who I thought I was and who I really am. Here I touch who I have always been but never knew. And so, in the last week, I have finally stopped all medications I was on for Bipolar Disorder/GAD.

One by-product of doing this is the effects of medication withdrawal. This has meant that regardless of the weather, I would still have been experiencing a lot of what I have experienced this week… dizziness, disassociation, anxiety and heightened sensory arousal i.e. feeling hyper aware of everything in my environment.
It has been approximately 4 days since I stopped my medication and today is the first day I feel I am close to ‘normal’ – as normal as I can be with this weather, that is.

There is a kind of ‘coming out’ feeling with this. I am slightly expectant of ridicule and excessive worry from people because everyone has heard that ‘bipolar patients are known for not taking their medication’… and, like people expect you to have an ‘episode’ or go off the deep end because Bipolar is thought of as an ‘incurable’ ‘disorder’.

Despite that, there is a feeling of intense empowerment I feel about this. I feel SO good about it and CONFIDENT in my ability to manage my moods. And you know how? Through the power of monitoring my thoughts and focus and by staying aligned with who I really am. And through self love and self care, which I am learning how to do, day by day.

What I have learnt through intuitive channeling and of course my own experience is that: people who receive a diagnosis of bipolar disorder are usually those who have never felt permission to be themselves. It was never okay to be sensitive and so they felt resistant to this aspect of themselves. This resistance enhanced that sensitivity (what you resists persists! I.e. You manifest more of whatever you are focusing on, this is the law of this mirror universe) until a full on chemical imbalance is created, the ‘chemical/emotional ceiling’ is broken, disappears.

Those with Bipolar disorder did come into this world more sensitive than others yes, but it was never supposed to get so bad that we would declare it a disorder, that it would become life threatening. As I heard the spiritual teacher, Teal Swan, say once, these people are ‘a sensitive compass’. The emotional (/chemical) reaction to your thoughts is much stronger than ‘regular’ people, this means you can get on a negative OR positive spiral much more easily and quickly than others. This means your thoughts are POWERFUL. This means monitoring one’s thoughts and consciously choosing those that feel good is very important.

This also means that you are an amazing creator. Every thought you think has a strong emotional response behind it thus it has a very strong, magnetic point of attraction to it. People with bipolar disorder are creators to it’s fullest extent. Additionally, our desires give birth to very strong pulls on the collective as we weave what we wish to manifest towards us, so too does that draw affect the collective. Our influence is vast.

Anyway, the point is that it is okay to be a sensitive compass. And I now know how to steer.

Featured Image: ‘Positive Focus’ by Teal Swan
Frequency Paintings by Teal Swan

eye storm digital art

Accept Your Feeling-Being

You are a feeling being.
You will never stop feeling.

Fear
Sadness
Anger
Pain
Worry
Concern

You will move into a place where these pains will fade, disintegrate upon their entrance into your open arms of acceptance.

Because you are. You are acceptance. All you have to do is be. Be present.

When you be, you are.

faith image

My Book – The Mystery

I am writing The Table of Contents for my book and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, it’s amazing. i have no idea what i'm doing space dog

Last night I wrote the first chapter title and 2 paragraphs on the subject.
I had a vision of it. I can see it. I’m not ‘writing’ it. I’m channelling it. I’m voicing it. I’m giving it life. It is very strange.

I got the name of the book a little while ago. I felt confronted by the name, the idea. It is a big topic and I felt fear with thoughts like, ‘what if I do it wrong?!’ and ‘I’m not good enough for that!’ as in, not professional enough, not experienced enough, not respected enough. However, it is not about that. It’s SO not about me. It’s about information. It’s about freedom. It’s about sharing. It’s about helping in the name of unity.

I feel like I’ve been ’employed’ by the divine. IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD haha but that is the only way I can think to describe how it feels. It’s like I’m the typist, I’m the vessel. Oh, that’s so dramatic too… but it is apt.

I want to share it. I want to write it out here, sort of. But it is to be birthed later. For now it is in a stage of creation. Like cells dividing and multiplying in the early stages of creating… It is a mystery that takes on it’s own direction. It’s own mission. It is on a role and I’m just ‘watching’. Holy crap. Man. Whoa.

This entry barely makes sense, I know. But… this is how it goes, apparently!

I suppose all I can do is have faith and trust in the power of what Source is yet to unfold.

(I realised something today. You are not a fraction of Source. You are A FRACTAL. You are the whole individuated into what appears as an extension but is truly expansion. It is horizontal, not vertical. It is duplication, not division. It is fractal in nature, all the way across.)

fairy butterfly

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Fuck ever doing anything that is not in alignment with my highest good.
Fuck ever being anything that is not in alignment with who I truly am.
Fuck ever saying anything that is not in alignment with my highest truth.
Fuck ever being anything or anyone other than my soul.

All that matters is the spark of life in you and that it shines as brightly as it possibly can.

When you be or say or do anything that is not of your soul, your light dulls. All that fucking matters in this life is letting your unique, individual spark of life shine as brightly as it can, as brightly as it should. It’s natural state is to be permanently bright and luminary. It is dulled when we walk in shadows of resistance to who we really are.

So BE WHO YOU ARE in EVERY waking moment.

If you feel like shit, don’t force yourself to go to work because of societal pressure or fear about money. Yes, these are very very real concerns that are of course terrifying but there will come a point when you would rather your light shine brightly homeless than be dulled, dressed in a suit and tie. This point, when it comes, is unique to all. But there can always be the hope that we will align with this way of being without coming to a dramatic point in our life but rather, hopefully one day, it will simply be our way.

If you want to stay in bed all day, stay in bed all day. There is a reason you feel like this is what you need to do at this time. If you stay with this, it will eventually flow into something else, then that will flow into something else, then that will flow into something else and so on and so on, with the magnetic pull always flowing towards what is best for you at this time, what will bring you into alignment with the true brightness of your light.

How you feel matters, in every waking second your emotions and feelings are your exact instruction for what will bring you closest to your true light, the fastest. If you have to, treat your emotions like they are the teacher and you are the student. Listen to them and head towards the next thing that feels one step better than before, as they so often guide us to, and you will learn that they can be trusted to draw you to what you had been seeking all along, and eventually, hopefully, you will learn that you are them, the teacher, and they are the student, you are each one another, you are one and the same.

Don’t you see? Everything in this life is an illusion. It is an idealised perfection by someone else’s mind that you are now trying to become. The truth is only in you and you write it in every single moment of your existence, every breath you take, you are making the decision to either commit to or deny the illusion. Let yourself be free and think of what is best for you. If the illusion brings you comfort and joy then by all means experience it’s depths to the nth degree, the furthest reaches that you can. Exhaust the perspective and experience of being in, behind, below, beneath and within the veil but when it is time to leave, do not run, do not stay in a place you have written away with your most recent breath. You are done with that, you are done with the beauty and the pain that it held for you to learn and grow within. You are now beyond that and you are freer than ever before. You are not shackled, you are not in chains, you are just feared. You are feared by you because of the magnificence you know that you can truly be. It will shock and enthral you and you will lose every sentiment of the illusion that you held inside of you to be true. To relieve yourself of the burden of the veil is not one that is done easily most often, because you are not even aware that it is a burden until you step away from it and say, ‘ah, I feel so much lighter. I shine so much brighter. Could this have all been a dream?’ You will feel newness for the first time and fresh and as a child once more. It is terrifying to be a child, to be in that state of innocence and faith in a world that has taught you that it is safest to be the exact opposite. But in reality it is not to be feared, this child like state, for it is a state of strength and of great earned and learned wisdom over years and years. You cannot notice who you have always been if you did not first experience who you never truly were (the illusion). Take heed and know that now that you are free no one can stop you from being this great, effervescent, luminary, unstoppable, unbreakable, untouchable LIGHT of pure beauty and joy and most of all, FREEDOM.

spiritual art prayer

A Channeled Message from The One about Change and Time

Lately I have been feeling weird, blank and low vibrational. I tend to mentally beat myself up when I get like this. I feel like it’s not okay for me as a spiritual teacher or intuitive being to fall into low vibrations. I often feel as though I will be thought as less than or that my material will be devalued so I tend to just get mad at myself when I feel negatively focused.
But. That is part of what is changing at the moment.
The new wave of spiritual teachers or beings’ way is to be authentic. Authentic in sadness, in joy, in strength, in weakness, in loss, in faith, in lost and in found.

So below is a message about that^ from the group consciousness I channel known as The One… It is also about the changing of ‘time’. In the last little while my feeling of time and linear time has been disintegrating… subtly, but it’s there. It has felt strange and weird and chaotic to me… So this message holds some answers about that too.

So, this is a message that began as more of a personal message to me from The One, but it applies to all of us and goes on to share important information:

“WE are here with you now. It is okay to be a dreamer, to be a sun.

Sometimes the saddest stories are the ones we write ourselves.

WE are with you in your darkest times.

It is okay to not always see the light. It is okay to not always smile. There is yellow in the sun but not everyone sees the same colours. To some, all looks gray. All appears dreary and rainy with no sun at all. It is okay to be in the shadow of loss, or loss and love, and chaos and dichotomy. It is okay. Go where your feelings take you and you will find the rainbow at the end of it all. But first you must allow and receive, not take away from yourself through anger at yourself for feeling lower vibrations or what you deem as lower of vibration.

You are a child of the god or universal energy. You are a god of universal energy, the universe itself, you experience all arrays of all emotions including sadness and sunlessness and sunshine and loss and scouring the echoes of the past for reasons that no longer exist…? This happens too, but we deem it as okay. You should deem it as okay. It is what makes you, you (the learning from it).
Humans are so very caught up in what is and what is not, how things should be versus how they are not but listen when we tell you: it is time for change and growth and with that we must do away with all judgements and all precursors or pre-knowings of situations, assumptions, yes… Assumptions about what you think must be done in certain terms and situations based on the past. The time for change is now and with the changing of time comes allowing of the new. Allow the unsurety. Allow the hierarchy to fall. Your rules no longer apply in the now, in the newness of the now, the real NOW.

There is so much time and you always think you have so little but there is always time because time is a duality purposed construct that is FALLING AWAY at this time. It is falling and it is only seemingly chaotically. It is not actually because the chaos is in non-linearity itself.

You were not actually a linear creature before you came here. You were sewn into the earth to follow progress with the time and the turn of the sun’s shades and the earth’s spin, the dress of the illusion of time (as we have stated before), but now, you as a flower (this flower of time), that time is done. The time is ripe to fall from the tree and grow again. You sought so much for this. You sought so much and sought and sought. It is time to stop seeking and to turn away from all that you knew and begin to CREATE NEW. The rules are out the window. The chaos is gone; you just enhance it with your addiction to the rules themselves. Let no one stand in your way in the doorway of your newness. You are a whole, complete creator. You are the Earth as she turns and the soul in the stars as well. You are the ALL. And so it is.”

– The One

Featured Image: Devotion by Nik Helbig

http://nikhelbig.com/art-blog/

girl window art

Beauty, Blank, Begin.

I realised I downplay my beauty for fear of being seen.

Why (do I fear)? (What do I fear?)

Not sure.

Lately I have felt blank.

I realised it is a newness of being. I think my concept of time is falling away. My world has literally moved in slow motion a couple of times in the last few days. I saw the movement of reality slow. It feels stagnant but yet it is movement. It is the perfect time to create. To begin. That is what the now is. It is a single everlasting moment.

I dance in this moment of blankness, of beauty and of beginning for reasons yet unknown to me.