poetry/lyrics

quote trees image

Let it Go, Let it Go.

Shadows fall
On your skin
We fought the war
To stand tall
But now it’s sinkin’ in

Can you be the light you were created to be?
Can you be the one to set you free?
Can you be the one to make my heart see?

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

There’s an albatross around your neck,
All the things you’ve said,
And the things you’ve done,
Can you carry it with no regrets?
Can you stand the person you’ve become?
Oh, there’s a light
Oh, there’s a light

Your albatross, let it go, let it go,
Your albatross, shoot it down, shoot it down
When you just can’t shake
The heavy weight of living

Stepping forward out into the day
Shrugging off the dust and memory
Though it’s soaring still above your head
It is out of sight and none shall see
Oh, there’s a light
Oh, there’s a light
Your albatross, let it go, let it go,
Your albatross, shoot it down, shoot it down
When you just can’t shake
The heavy weight of living
When you just can’t seem to shake
The weight of living

It’s the sun in your eyes, in your eyes
It’s the sun in your eyes, in your eyes
It’s the sun in your eyes, in your eyes
It’s the sun in your eyes, in your eyes

Your albatross, let it go, let it go,
Your albatross shoot it down, shoot it down
When you just can’t shake
The heavy weight of living
When you just can’t seem to shake
The weight of living

The weight of living
The weight of living
The weight of living
The weight of living

Weight of Living Part I – Bastille

I will find a way to let this go
If I don’t now I won’t know
How to be more than this
Oh, I know I’m more than this

I’m a story told a thousand times
Lived a thousand lives
A thousand lies
I’ll burn it away
To become what I have always been
The truth of me

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

uriel angel me

The Painful Illusion (Re: Uriel)

The Painful Illusion (The Enemy of Death)
Re: Uriel

Stealing away our heart beat
It comes in the middle of the night
Taints the first day of the week
And robs you of their sight
Death has been personified
In this dark fall
Autumn bled her mystery
And now I am at her call

Winter marches on
Stole my breath in it’s wake
I cannot belong
On a planet with pain so great

I know I could go back
To where I first began
But I am sure the glass is sharp there too

Eyes

You are a weight in me
Faith – she holds me down
I will write every time I feel anything at all
But especially this

I hope you realise
There is a lot left in eyes
That is left unsaid
Words, they come and they go
But eyes stay the same
Even as we grow
Is it what you wanted?
I guess we’ll never know

Time makes fools of us all
She writes herself into our skin
Where does she go?
How did she get me here?

Hold on
What’s said is said
What’s done is done
It’s the sun’s turn
And she yawns in the morning
Wakes me with her light
And I try again
Because time has written me permanently here

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

Easy Baby Maybe I’m a Liar

I wrecked myself again
Shipped to the shore

I see violet, blue and coral
I see shallows from time I borrowed
I see words sewn into me
Those that I held onto
Well they left me

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne
___
See the flames inside my eyes
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love
Easy baby maybe I’m you’re a liar
But for tonight I wanna’ fall in love
Put your faith in my stomach

And for how long, I love, my lover
For how long I love my lover
And now, now, for how long, long I love my lover
Now, now, for how long, long I love my lover

– I’m A Mess by Ed Sheeran

sunflower image

Shine

i’m gonna shine back at you

what you fail to see through

black jackets, armoured coats

silent songs and secret notes

i will show it all

i wear my heart on my sleeve

and i do not have a map

i have watched them leave

and failed to get them back

but i’m gonna shine

with what is still mine

and i will break through

so you see too

i can’t help it

i think i was made to love

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

Twin Forks – Back to You

sunlight tree

Goodbye Summer, Hello Mystery: Of Autumn and Gold

Life feels very mysterious to me at the moment. I am observing it and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I am trying to just roll with it. I have so many feelings swirling in my mind and heart that are writing themselves into a lot of poetry and singing themselves out through a new inspiration to play guitar.

I think a lot of it has to do with me coming off of Cymbalta (Duloxetine HCI – SNRI – Antidepressant/Anti Anxiety medication). I didn’t know it, but it was indeed suppressing some of the purer aspects of my being. No wonder my creativity fell away. My creativity resides in my feelings that were then drowned in chemical waters.

I knew/noticed that my creativity had gone when I went on antidepressants. I used to write poetry every day. I have hundreds, possibly thousands, of poems on my hard drive that I began writing in 2005 (ish). I used to play guitar (a little) as well. Also, I noted that my sacral chakra has been blocked up until maybe 6 months ago when I became aware of it (the sacral chakra – the seat of one’s creativity).
As you can see from this blog, I am writing more and more poetry once again… I am feeling more.

And we could speak of concern about me falling back into depression and sleepless nights, that this is a precursor to that. But this time it’s different. I am more whole. I am who I truly am in these days, more than ever before.
I don’t just feel the sad songs, I feel the happy songs too. I hear their joy and I can embrace it. I feel my pain and I can face it. (<—just the thoughts in my head are becoming more and more poetic, also).
I am more aware of my pain and it hurts. I am also more aware of my joy, and that’s…something else.

I’m actually taking some serious spiritual steps towards healing my broken heart and the unintegrated aspects of my consciousness at the moment. I’m braver than I was before.

Summer has left and I barely noticed. But now as I do, I look out the window and I see the grey and I’ll admit, I am struggling to see the beauty of that. But the point is that I want to, the point is that I am trying.

I suppose Autumn is a time of change, a time of mystery. Perhaps Autumn will teach me how to allow my bright green to gently fade to gold. Gold is beautiful. I like gold.

There are silhouettes singing in the trees
Somehow blowing the wind that sways the leaves
And Autumn, she calls me

She is all my dreams of untouched sighs
And quiet minds, tired eyes
I see gold through all of the mystery
That surrounds me

I see gold growing all around me
Weaving through the gardens that could be
Delicate loops of hope
For Autumn

She holds all of my dreams
And she grasps them carefully
And I look to see
If what I want will be
But all I see
Is gold

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

everything you ever wanted fear

What I Can’t Say

Here I stand
Braver than I ever can
Stand to be
There’s no way we
Should

But embers are burning deep
Tracing the heart that I can’t reach
And I feel like running away
All of the time
But part of me will stay
At the chance of –
What I can’t say

I’ve said I’ve fought flames before
But none have burned like this
I simply can’t afford
To put my armour down
Yet I am more
Sure
Of –
What I can’t say

3 days and nights afraid of the dark
But still running from the spark
How will I possibly get through this
When I can’t afford to miss
What I can’t say?

dark waves

Arrows in the Water

Alone in the water
We’ll drown tonight
Sorted with arrows
Pierced alive

I’ve walked over glass for the sound of someone else
The soft cracks trace along the bottom of my feet
Just for you to feel better than me

Walked through the ocean, scared of the rain
Yelling at nothing at all

Like yellow and sunset, orange gold amber
We walk through the dark, illuminated danger
Let us become okay with breathing in the carbon dioxide
And let us not expel that which divides

You’re torn in two
Ripped through
Walls are shattered in not much time at all
Cascading pieces of yourself left behind
Time is a fragile piece of missing life
Let us remember the first turn of the knife
The darkest night
For the darkest lives
Awake but not tortured
But we’re written in stone
Hopeful to expel that which
We do not wish to own
But chains are rigid, locked in the wrists
Weighing us to the bottom of the ocean tides

History’s page is turning the knife
Carving out all of your time

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

hope definition

Hoping on the Edge of A Cliff

I endeavour to become pure
Clear like snow
But I’ll never get there
If you don’t know

That I am here
Excruciatingly unsafe
Wearing war wounds
Showing them to the open air
Light shines through my hair
Makes it harder to bleed
As I blink in the bright

Wonder and wanderlust have never been mine
But this time I think I’ll try

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

Holding hope can make you more tired than every day put together…
But holding hope is who I am.

I always try to hold my thoughts within my own power. But they push and collide until I can’t hold on any more. They run away after childish and unrealistic hope, romantic notions and exhausting daydreams. But maybe that’s just my heart. And you shouldn’t fight your heart.

Hoping is something I struggle with accepting in me because it rips through all the walls I want to keep up that make me feel safe. It perseveres and it never gives up and it’s always there. And I guess it’s who I am. I’ll always hope and more than that, I/I’ll believe. And even I can’t tear it away from me. Even through all the tears I have ever cried, I’ve always just ended up finding myself in a sea of hope.

I want to become okay with my faith in life and my soul crushing/enlivening hope. I think hope requires you to face the cliff that hangs over the sea, standing in the wind with salt air stinging your eyes, and say, “I accept that there is danger here. There is risk. But here I’ll stand anyway.” And I’m so fucking scared of heights and danger. I touch it and it’s callous and cold like jagged rocks. But I still climb. And I end up hanging there on the end of the cliff, saying, “I’m here anyway.”

I’ll always be here. In the dangerous and unsafe hope.