I realised I downplay my beauty for fear of being seen.
Why (do I fear)? (What do I fear?)
Lately I have felt blank.
I realised it is a newness of being. I think my concept of time is falling away. My world has literally moved in slow motion a couple of times in the last few days. I saw the movement of reality slow. It feels stagnant but yet it is movement. It is the perfect time to create. To begin. That is what the now is. It is a single everlasting moment.
I dance in this moment of blankness, of beauty and of beginning for reasons yet unknown to me.
There is a fundamental reason why we look at the sky with wonder and longing—for the same reason that we stand, hour after hour, gazing at the distant swell of the open ocean. There is something like an ancient wisdom, encoded and tucked away in our DNA, which knows its point of origin as surely as a salmon knows its creek. Intellectually, we may not want to return there, but the genes know, and long for their origins—their home in the salty depths. But if the seas are our immediate source, the penultimate source is certainly the heavens… The spectacular truth is—and this is something that your DNA has known all along—the very atoms of your body—the iron, calcium, phosphorus, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and on and on—were initially forged in long-dead stars. This is why, when you stand outside under a moonless, country sky, you feel some ineffable tugging at your innards. We are star stuff. Keep looking up.
Prof. Jerry Waxman from NYU
I have always known this. We stare in awe at the vastness and beauty of nature…because we are it.
Today I had a thought… We all live our lives with the notion that happiness is a goal – I’ll be happy when I’m married and in love, I’ll be happy when I’m fit, I’ll be happy when…I’ll finally be happy when…
But the only constant in this world is change – the contrast – the things that make us unhappy…they are just things and you choose how you react.
Happiness is not a destination…it is here, it is now…and now and now and now and now and now… what you choose to notice is what is. We are always sitting in the happiness we are looking forward to, that distant fantasy is already here in incremental moments, if only we take notice.
There will never be stability, and if there was constant stability, constant sameness…you would not be happy for long. Appreciation is lost without the contrast of what it is like to not have what you have, to not feel how you feel, to know lack of happiness is necessary to have happiness at all and in it’s truest form. Anything other than this would not be genuine. This life is genuine because it is beautiful because it has darkness, it is peaceful because it has chaos, it is temporary…because we are forever.