faith

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My Book – The Mystery

I am writing The Table of Contents for my book and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, it’s amazing. i have no idea what i'm doing space dog

Last night I wrote the first chapter title and 2 paragraphs on the subject.
I had a vision of it. I can see it. I’m not ‘writing’ it. I’m channelling it. I’m voicing it. I’m giving it life. It is very strange.

I got the name of the book a little while ago. I felt confronted by the name, the idea. It is a big topic and I felt fear with thoughts like, ‘what if I do it wrong?!’ and ‘I’m not good enough for that!’ as in, not professional enough, not experienced enough, not respected enough. However, it is not about that. It’s SO not about me. It’s about information. It’s about freedom. It’s about sharing. It’s about helping in the name of unity.

I feel like I’ve been ’employed’ by the divine. IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD haha but that is the only way I can think to describe how it feels. It’s like I’m the typist, I’m the vessel. Oh, that’s so dramatic too… but it is apt.

I want to share it. I want to write it out here, sort of. But it is to be birthed later. For now it is in a stage of creation. Like cells dividing and multiplying in the early stages of creating… It is a mystery that takes on it’s own direction. It’s own mission. It is on a role and I’m just ‘watching’. Holy crap. Man. Whoa.

This entry barely makes sense, I know. But… this is how it goes, apparently!

I suppose all I can do is have faith and trust in the power of what Source is yet to unfold.

(I realised something today. You are not a fraction of Source. You are A FRACTAL. You are the whole individuated into what appears as an extension but is truly expansion. It is horizontal, not vertical. It is duplication, not division. It is fractal in nature, all the way across.)

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Eyes

You are a weight in me
Faith – she holds me down
I will write every time I feel anything at all
But especially this

I hope you realise
There is a lot left in eyes
That is left unsaid
Words, they come and they go
But eyes stay the same
Even as we grow
Is it what you wanted?
I guess we’ll never know

Time makes fools of us all
She writes herself into our skin
Where does she go?
How did she get me here?

Hold on
What’s said is said
What’s done is done
It’s the sun’s turn
And she yawns in the morning
Wakes me with her light
And I try again
Because time has written me permanently here

– Rebecca Elizabeth Anne

I keep waiting because I have faith.

I have faith. I have faith in people. I have so much faith in people, to my own detriment.
I keep waiting for people to change because I believe they can, I KNOW people can. But they have to want it, they have to believe it first.
And they never do and they don’t and they won’t.

I keep waiting for B to realise…and to realise that things do get better.

LIFE CHANGES. It is the only constant. And the fact that life changes means there is both good and bad and why am I the only one who takes note of the good?

I wish I lived in a world where everyone knew that anything is possible. I wish more people believed in second chances…for me, for themselves, for the world.

Everyone’s in pain and you can find a band aid if only you try.