government

goverment oppression art

Anger, Disappointment and CAPS LOCK

I am so fucking angry and disappointed right now. I can’t be bothered to explain why at this point in time but I just wanted to type somewhere angrily and YELL ABOUT HOW SHIT THE GOVERNMENT IS IN CAPS LOCK.

THE GOVERNMENT IS SHIT AND UNLOVING AND NEEDS CHANGE. I wish I could just jump into the future where the mass consciousness has evolved into (or returned to it’s natural state of) one of unity and openness.

But I can’t. SO I’M JUST GOING TO WRITE IN CAPS LOCK AND THINK IN LOUD NOISES UNTIL I FEEL BETTER.

INSERT EXPRESSION OF ANGER AND RESENTMENT AT PEOPLE’S LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE EVEN THOUGH I GUESS IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT IT IS STILL FUCKING ANNOYING AND MAKES MY LIFE THAT MUCH HARDER UGH UGH UGH UGH

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Helping Others in the Midst of ‘The Machine’

I have been dreading going to these Centrelink (Australian government department responsible for offering financial support, help getting work and probably a bunch of other things I’m not aware of) ‘work skills’ workshops that are mandatory to attend if you want to continue receiving financial benefit.sepia human spirit photo

The concept of attending these gave me so much anxiety in previous months that I couldn’t bring myself to go and thus stopped getting my much needed fortnightly payment. Fortunately, I was then able to get a medical certificate that allowed me exemption from participating in these workshops for the following month. But after that month, I was supposed to have my shit together and therefore be capable of going (I must highlight the fact that when I get anxious, it’s not just a bit, it’s always a lot. I was diagnosed with ‘Generalised Anxiety Disorder’ a few years ago).

And it sounds so silly but the anxiety surrounding this is a deeper issue that is not immediately apparent upon superficial observation… For me, it was about feeling like I’m being forced to become a ‘cog in the machine’ that is society and the government etc. plus deep seated authority issues that I have had since school – another place where I felt forced to do things I didn’t want to do. And the whole thing with all that is probably something about it threatening my sense of individuality and that it promotes a feeling of powerlessness, due to the feeling of being controlled by others and what others say I have to do.

Anyway.

So last week, I finally went to one of these workshop things. Before I went, I was dreading it but had come to terms with the fact that I did have to go and so started thinking of ways that I might be able to survive it. I thought to myself, ‘maybe it won’t be that bad’, ‘maybe I’ll meet someone who loves Doctor Who or someone who is into spirituality or metaphysics I.e. maybe I’ll make a great friend’, ‘maybe the information presented will actually benefit me in some way’.

Well, I would never have guessed how it turned out.

There was only 2 other ‘students’ and the trainer and I in attendance, so there was a lot of time to get off topic. We were doing this (lame) thing where you ‘get to know each other’ – the aim being to prove that you will find you do have things in common with the people you end up being around in the workplace, and in society in general, even if it doesn’t initially seem like it…or something like that.

It was going okay. The other two people were very talkative and just asked like, ‘do you like music? okay we have that in common /writes it down. do you like blank? okay, yes, /writes it down.’ and so on. The trainer was making some suggestions too and she asked if people like reading and what kind of things do we like to read… Well, I was asked directly so I said, “I just read a lot of non fiction about metaphysics and spirituality, mostly.” And the trainer looked surprised and was like, “Oh wow. That’s so interesting, I really like crystal healing and stuff like that…”
Soon after, “do we all like animals?” “yes”, then went off topic talking about our pets. The trainer and I got into a funny conversation about our cats and weird stuff they do.
At another point we were asked about ultimate career aspirations. I said that I want to finish my book on metaphysics/bipolar/my life and become known enough to make money from spiritual writing, blogging and energy healing to just do that stuff full time. Then the trainer asked me about how energy healing works. I explained about how I do it and what the aura is etc.

From all that, somewhere in there, topical conversation drifted to the concept of consciousness and god. Oh, that’s right, I think the trainer said that she believes in karma in the traditional, Buddhist view (it sounded like). So then we talked about consciousness more and I spoke about how I communicate with animals. The trainer then told me that she felt like she could actually talk to her cats, and kept saying, “I know I sound crazy but -” I was like, amazed, and so glad I was there to tell her, “You are not crazy.”

She then told me (well, everyone) a story about how her previous cat asked her a question one day: The cat: “If I go, how should I go?” (as in die, like what would be the least upsetting way)
Trainer: “Oh, probably getting hit by a car or something. Something quick.”
And then apparently a few days later, the cat got hit by a car. Now the trainer was tearing up at this point and expressing how she felt guilt relative to that conversation, and like it was somehow her fault that the cat had died. I told her that, no, this is not the case. The cat was clearly planning to leave regardless. I also told her that she may have a natural gift for animal communication and should look into it. She clearly got that message correct.
And I also told her that she could hire a professional animal communicator to have a conversation with her deceased cat and that it might be comforting for her.

cat joe

My cat, Joe, who died. A beautiful soul.

She kept saying how grateful she was to hear that and that she would research it all when she got home. I also gave her a link to my site so she could order energy healing if she wished, as she had expressed interest in ordering some in the earlier conversation.

A very similar thing happened in 2012 when I was interviewing for a job at a call centre. I was discussing my past education, on that list being the course I did in Animal Communication. The interviewer asked me what that was so I explained. She started talking about animals, how much she loves them and feels a strong connection to them. I shared some stories about my cats and that I too (obviously) have a very strong connection with them. She then went into talking about when she got her dog euthanised. She was expressing extreme guilt for doing it because she now wonders if it was not the right thing to do. She started tearing up. I explained that the animal always knows, or the higher self at least always knows, and that we all do the best we can from the perspective we are in that moment. Her love for her pet was clear and that her dog’s journey had simply run it’s course. She was crying at this point. I told her that there are plenty of animal communicators that will speak to her pet for her and that doing some research into it might be a good idea also.

The point is, that I went to this ‘work skills’ thing with a bit more of an open mind and attitude, and turns out someone there really needed me to be there, to say that to her. I was able to help someone in a profound way. And it was just amazing. It is miraculous, these sorts of meant-to-be interactions…they happen in the most surprising ways.

People think they are so alone in their experiences when they’re just not.

You are not alone.

You are not crazy.

You are not responsible for the death of your pet.

Animals are conscious creators just like us, they are often infinitely wiser than a lot of humans I’ve met and are much more connected to their greater soul-self. So, when an animal leaves, you can trust that some part of them knew and they knew that it was right.

P.S. Hank is a conscious creator. Vote for Hank 🙂
cat senate

On Hold/222

I am on hold with Centrelink (Australian Government branch that organises financial benefits for those looking for work, studying, disabled etc). I am trying to sort out my payment. I was on hold with them on Friday for 1 hour and gave up, went into centrelink and the girl said to do this specific thing with the app on my phone. Did that, didn’t hear anything so I went in there yesterday to ask what the deal was. I was given the same number that I had been on hold with previously and told that’s the only number I can call and that the physical branch here doesn’t deal with the specific issue I have. So I went back on hold again with them for 45-50 minutes yesterday and then gave up when I had to use the banking app on my phone and go shopping and it was getting to 5.30pm which was when the line would close anyway. This morning I am on hold again. If I don’t get onto them, the only thing I can do is either try another number who will almost definitely say that they are unable to deal with the issue and redirect me to this same number (tried that the other day, it was a 60 minute wait in the phone queue, which is when I decided to go into the branch instead) or the only other thing I can think of to do, is to go in again and I don’t know, beg the people there to..call some..other..person…? NEARRGHH.
Then I was like (for just a second), Ugh man I should call the complaints line…no wait, I’m sure the queue for that would be like a 2 hr wait.

In conclusion, patience is not my virtue when I am stressed about the issue at hand.

I’m wondering what I can do with my energy to help the situation. I think releasing this rant is a good thing. Expression of concern and frustration instead of creating some lovely energy blockages for myself (which will in turn vibrationally attract more of the same issues into my experience).

Yesterday whilst I was on hold I decided to meditate a little and run energy through my body. This was a mistake to do near electronics that I was already frustrated with (a strong, high frequency electromagnetic field (which is what your energy field/aura is) will mess with electronic devices sometimes and cause them to be disrupted or fail within their own electromagnetic field) (also, just wanted to say, if you are struggling with this apparently Orgonite will help) – the phone started to drop in and out even though the signal was fine, I could barely hear the (just fabulous) hold music any more and kept worrying it had disconnected. I stopped my energy work and continued to wait until 5.30pm…

Paaaaaatience, where art thou?

patience quote

I agree with this statement 100%. This is what I must find in me (I am not just talking about being on hold, I am talking about my whole life relative to where I am right now.) I’ll find this attitude within myself. I will. I must.

Oh, a cool thing:

Yesterday I saw the numbers 222 and I just knew it was a message from my spirit guides so I looked it up and it was a perfect fit for me for where I am as of late. Here is the description I have gathered:

“A message to have faith and know that everything is turning out for the best. Everything will be alright. The things you have been desiring and manifesting are coming to fruition in the best way possible. Keep your faith.”

And, my guides are always saying to me “You. have. fortitude”. And I love that. And I love them, so much. 🙂

EDIT: As soon as I finished this blog entry, I was taken off of hold and got all my stuff sorted. There you have it. Release your resistant vibrations, move into a state of allowing and things will naturally unfold how you desire them to.

Today

Today I ‘have’ to go to Centrelink to talk to them about payments and why I did not complete ‘the required job seeking activity’ last week.
I feel a lot of resistance when I think about doing this. In my body I feel anxious. In my mind I hear, “I really don’t want to do that…” and then I ask “why?” and I hear no clear answer because of the anxiety (I assume).
Lately I have been pondering the question, “Why do I have so much trouble getting myself to do things that I know will benefit me?”
And then the spiritual intuitive in me replies (right now in fact), “The soul only propels you towards doing that which serves you. If it doesn’t serve you in this moment then it will not feel emotionally good to think about or do.”
But then the intellectual self queries, “But maybe I am just not doing it because of the anxiety which is a by-product of having generalised anxiety disorder.” But then, as a spiritual intuitive and an awakened being I know that there is no such thing as disorder…Anxiety is an emotion which is a reflection of the vibration that you are holding – the vibration of the thought you are currently thinking…

Perhaps I should try to change my focus and think about what could be good about going to Centrelink?

1. If I go and talk to them, I can explain what happened and then they will forward money to me (and continue to keep giving it to me).

I am now having the realisation that maybe I don’t want to go because it means they will tell me all about the things I have to do to look for work (in order for them to see that I am trying to get a job so they will keep giving me money) which are things I don’t want to do becauseee they will inevitably result in me getting a job. And I guess I don’t believe that a job I want is out there. I believe in the job I have as a healer. But I also believe in the lack of money associated with that – the lack of income flow. I don’t envision money coming towards me through that even though that is what I truly desire. Perhaps because I do not believe in myself.

Ah! So many epiphanies and core beliefs to get into and thought patterns to observe…
My back is a bit sore from sitting like this in bed. I will come back to this.

I will update as to whether I went to the government machine or not, too.