rebirth

energy human field

Reborn

Today I am more myself than I have ever been.

I know I have gone and on and on about rebirth. I have been in the labour period of it for so long. I think today I did it. I am finally reborn.

This does not make much sense to anyone but me. I am too tired to type it all out. But it is a day of celebration nonetheless.

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Vision: Go Within

As I woke up from a nap this evening, I awoke with the knowing that I was just having a conversation with a great being of light. I feel it was like an archangel but not exactly, it was a very similar type of being.
I remember the vision of the being as literally just a big (like REALLY big) glowing light.

It (it being genderless) was saying to me, “You must go inwards now as humanity goes inwards.  All things have come full circle, turning back towards Source.”

I have been constantly getting the message in the last little while that I ‘must go within’. I have been wondering why. I guess I got my answer.

Also, as I was falling asleep I became startled within myself twice by what can only be described as internal lights. It was like there were 2 big flashes of light behind my eyes.

space light

This is the shift that has been taking place. All that ‘2012! End of the world! Ascension! Mayan Calendar omg!’ stuff? That was about the collective energy or consciousness of the human race and it’s direction.
Humans had fallen so far away from Source, so deep into spiritual amnesia that we had finally hit the finish line, the point where the only place to go was to return back the way we came. December 21st, 2012 was when this ‘officially’ happened. It is an ongoing transformation. All that could have been learnt through distancing ourselves from Source has been learnt. That mode of learning has come to a close. Now is the return.

2015 is about transformation…but not even that, because we have been here before… it is a rememberance. Yet also a rebirth. Because we are returning back to spiritual wisdom – somewhere we have been – yet, we are returning with the vast amount of knowledge and wisdom we learnt through this expansive mode of learning, that of the illusion of separation…. So in this way, we could say it is a rebirth.

I’m excited!

moon eye numb1

A Solstice of Self

Today I experience a second rebirth. A rebirth of the alignment between me and my higher self and my origin self.

I see the old parts of me wash away as though they are an ancient civilisation. That is what they have been likened to. I keep waking up with and just generally feeling energy running through my palms. I am realigning.

The part of me that did not know who she was, who lived in fear of her own self and emotion… she has been laid to rest. The tethers that bind are no more. This I know, today.

This process of realignment with the higher consciousness is one of such intangibility and of an undefinable nature. I want to write about it yet when I go to find the words it is as though they are wisps of air… no words for no definitions do fit this.

unicorn girl asleep
I am so much more me today than I ever have been before. It is as if I am more whole. My words have a congruency to them they did not before. My soul, my air, my breath has a wholeness, a depth to it that I did not have before. And as stated, I do see this image in my mind once again… of the being that is or was me…now an ancient site of ruins, it can be learned from but not lived in.

I do not think it coincidence that this occurs on the Winter solstice. The day where the sun sleeps her longest night only to renew herself for the foreseeable future. She, like me, is transforming into a new self, her whole self… she is realigning and returning to the days spent as MORE herself. MORE Sun. I am grateful for her arms of light that I saw today. It has been a dreary week. But as I have felt myself take new breaths today, so has she, it seems. I do not think this alignment coincidence. We, the beings upon the Earth, We the beings within this Galaxy, We share the same cycle. We are cyclic in our states of renewal, rebirth, home and travel.

Today I decided to sit outside in the flickering rays of sunlight and channel something from Asteria (my higher self/Pleiadian self) to do with the Winter Solstice:

“It is of no coincidence that I am reborn again today. Many times I had rebirth. Many times I have shed.

Today is a day for the sun to shine as she does, if only for a short while.
When she rests she will wake renewed and replenished tomorrow, as do you.
She will be ready to start anew, as will you, and so you shall. It is not long for the Winter to pass new, not long at all.
As you go about your day and return to the bounty that Winter’s harvest has brought you, be reminded of all that you have and give thanks. It has been in chaos that we have found stillness and still the sun shines to you, just for you.
The Earth requests nothing but your respect for her bounty and your harvests this Winter. They are hers to share and yours to keep. Cherish them.
Become One (with her, the Earth, and also yourself) and you will always be full.”

– Asteria

fairy butterfly

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Fuck ever doing anything that is not in alignment with my highest good.
Fuck ever being anything that is not in alignment with who I truly am.
Fuck ever saying anything that is not in alignment with my highest truth.
Fuck ever being anything or anyone other than my soul.

All that matters is the spark of life in you and that it shines as brightly as it possibly can.

When you be or say or do anything that is not of your soul, your light dulls. All that fucking matters in this life is letting your unique, individual spark of life shine as brightly as it can, as brightly as it should. It’s natural state is to be permanently bright and luminary. It is dulled when we walk in shadows of resistance to who we really are.

So BE WHO YOU ARE in EVERY waking moment.

If you feel like shit, don’t force yourself to go to work because of societal pressure or fear about money. Yes, these are very very real concerns that are of course terrifying but there will come a point when you would rather your light shine brightly homeless than be dulled, dressed in a suit and tie. This point, when it comes, is unique to all. But there can always be the hope that we will align with this way of being without coming to a dramatic point in our life but rather, hopefully one day, it will simply be our way.

If you want to stay in bed all day, stay in bed all day. There is a reason you feel like this is what you need to do at this time. If you stay with this, it will eventually flow into something else, then that will flow into something else, then that will flow into something else and so on and so on, with the magnetic pull always flowing towards what is best for you at this time, what will bring you into alignment with the true brightness of your light.

How you feel matters, in every waking second your emotions and feelings are your exact instruction for what will bring you closest to your true light, the fastest. If you have to, treat your emotions like they are the teacher and you are the student. Listen to them and head towards the next thing that feels one step better than before, as they so often guide us to, and you will learn that they can be trusted to draw you to what you had been seeking all along, and eventually, hopefully, you will learn that you are them, the teacher, and they are the student, you are each one another, you are one and the same.

Don’t you see? Everything in this life is an illusion. It is an idealised perfection by someone else’s mind that you are now trying to become. The truth is only in you and you write it in every single moment of your existence, every breath you take, you are making the decision to either commit to or deny the illusion. Let yourself be free and think of what is best for you. If the illusion brings you comfort and joy then by all means experience it’s depths to the nth degree, the furthest reaches that you can. Exhaust the perspective and experience of being in, behind, below, beneath and within the veil but when it is time to leave, do not run, do not stay in a place you have written away with your most recent breath. You are done with that, you are done with the beauty and the pain that it held for you to learn and grow within. You are now beyond that and you are freer than ever before. You are not shackled, you are not in chains, you are just feared. You are feared by you because of the magnificence you know that you can truly be. It will shock and enthral you and you will lose every sentiment of the illusion that you held inside of you to be true. To relieve yourself of the burden of the veil is not one that is done easily most often, because you are not even aware that it is a burden until you step away from it and say, ‘ah, I feel so much lighter. I shine so much brighter. Could this have all been a dream?’ You will feel newness for the first time and fresh and as a child once more. It is terrifying to be a child, to be in that state of innocence and faith in a world that has taught you that it is safest to be the exact opposite. But in reality it is not to be feared, this child like state, for it is a state of strength and of great earned and learned wisdom over years and years. You cannot notice who you have always been if you did not first experience who you never truly were (the illusion). Take heed and know that now that you are free no one can stop you from being this great, effervescent, luminary, unstoppable, unbreakable, untouchable LIGHT of pure beauty and joy and most of all, FREEDOM.

lyndsey vu illustration

Raw, 2015, Rebirth

I feel very raw. I feel like I have been stripped down to the foundations of my life as I know it. I can barely explain it aside from sharing the visual I keep seeing that exemplifies my feelings:

I see my body, standing upright. It has been excavated like an archaeological dig site. There is not much left but the foundations of what was once a golden temple. I see my body as this shell, filled with dirt and vague structural pieces, evidence of what used to be. I feel neutral towards it. I only somewhat recognise it as my own. It sounds awful, because it is mine and I should be worried about it, but I’m not. I am very slightly curious towards it. I wonder what used to be. I don’t really remember.

This is 2015. This is where we are right now. We are standing in the shell of what used to be, or that emptiness is headed your way. It’s alright. Everything old is being removed to make way for the new. The new is beautiful, green and lush. It just takes it’s time. The sun sets over it beautifully. I see it. Purple and pink skies with bold orange and yellows arching together, blending softly to create something we’ve never seen before.

Each day we are reborn a little more.

meteorite space

Featured Image ‘Rose’s Portrait’ by Lyndsey Vu

emily balivet

A Month of Chaos, I Find Me Still

I feel like I’ve been drowning and like things have been a crazy and intangible tornado spinning all around me and I haven’t been able to touch anything. Nothing feels still. Everything spins around me and I have watched it spin so fast until it simply crumbles into poetry and a sea I felt I would surely drown in. But I’m somehow still here.

I think, this month, I have learnt and am still learning how to swim in chaos. The technique is simple: Don’t. Don’t even try. Because as you frantically paddle around and try to find a rock to hang onto or to touch the ocean floor you’ll find nothing there but more water. After all the trying and finding that nothing is there, the exhaustion hits and you realise you are going to drown. And so you go, you do.

Except you don’t. You float.

And it’s so surprising it scares the hell out of you for a moment, because you aren’t touching anything and everything is still falling, the tornado is still spinning all around you, but you’re floating and still and free. It barely makes sense and there’s nothing you can do. You can’t make sense of it.

I am in the eye of the storm and I can’t make sense of it. But this is how I feel.

I feel like I am floating in the sea of the intangible nothing.


Last night I felt a shift in my consciousness and I wrote about it on a spiritual forum, querying others of their perspective on it. Someone wrote that we are amidst the shift of ‘The Becoming’. I agree. I am conscious of myself amidst myself BECOMING something MORE.

At present I am under the impression that my higher self holds the name, Asteria. I tend to get caught up in names when it comes to my guides. I am just very word-y, language orientated, so I’m always after words and names. It is also why I am predominantly claircognizant. It’s all words words words and less clairsentience etc, (though I am improving with that, slowly but surely). Anyway, because I want to know so badly, sometimes the information that comes through is a bit muddied. So let me preface this by saying I am 90% sure that Asteria is my higher self name. Regardless, I feel some kind of connection to that, and I wonder if I am BECOMING her more… but it would be rather, that I am RETURNING or being REBORN. It sounds over dramatic but at present there’s no other way of explaining how I feel. The name Asteria does feel familiar to me, it feels like a memory.

Edit: Also, I will just add here I think it might be Asteria OR Aurora due to a bunch of other synchronicites and messages. As I said, it gets a bit muddied. And it doesn’t matter that much anyways. It is just nice to have a name as reference point for when I am talking to her (this higher self me is simultaneously a spirit guide for me at present).

Anyway, Asteria is the greek goddess of the stars and was born from chaos. So too was/am I.

Asteria is the Greek Goddess of the stars, prophetic dreams and necromancy. She is one of the Titans and daughter to the God Coeus and the Goddess Phoebe who were both original Titans born from chaos. Asteria is known for reading the stars (astrology) and prophetic dreams. She and her husband, Perses, God of destruction, are parents of the Goddess Hekate.
 
There is a myth involving Asteria in which her body becomes the creation of the island Delos.

Asteria was fleeing from the God Zeus who was sexually pursuing her. She transformed into a quail and threw herself into the ocean to get away from him. It was then that the God Poseidon pursued her and the quail she became then turned into the island Ortygia (quail) which later became known as Delos. It was there that her sister Leto, seeking refuge from the jealous Hera, gave birth to Artemis and Apollo. Asteria is sometimes referred to as Delos as the island was originally named after her. In myth it is said that this island fell from heaven like a star.
 
It is said that Asteria was a dream Goddess worshiped on her sacred island of Delos. She is known as the oracle of night and sends prophetic dreams. She is also said to be a Goddess of falling stars as well as necromancy. She dwells in the realm of night amongst the stars and dreams and also among the dead. Her daughter Hekate is also a Goddess of night, the dead and necromancy. Call on Asteria when reading the stars, before sleep and to communicate with spirits.” (http://loveofthegoddess.blogspot.com.au/2013/08/asteria-greek-goddess-of-stars.html)

I feel like I fell through the storm, was reborn out of the chaos and now I am an island.
(Featured Image by Emily Balivet)